![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zoomdudeFor as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with video games and have been trying to escape from the stressful world by avoiding social contact and avoiding important things like improving myself. I would escape into video games because it was so easy and devoid of stress to just sit there, have the same exact start as everyone else and build my virtual self. Of course even in the games i wasn't too big on social interaction, it was much easier to just deal with the AI. So for the longest time I was this scrawny kid who needed a haircut sitting at the only empty lunch table or being completely silent and observing at the full one.
The only friends i had were basically forced upon me. I was forced to go to church to every Sunday so i did meet some good people there and it got me into boy scouts and i had a lot of good memories there. Basically my only friends were the ones who went to my church but only a couple of them i actually hung out with outside of church or school.
My grade school years were interesting, i rarely did my homework but i paid attention in class so i was able to get okay grades just by acing the tests and failing miserably in the homework assignments. In high school i began to question my religion, and began to do things that were against it. I became a stoner and it was great, it kept my mind off of the important things and helped me continue the life i was leading without regret. I didn't have to think about benefits of hanging out with girls or going out and doing things when i could just smoke and play video games with my best friend Lorenzo. In the last 2 years of high school i joined running start because that's where most of my friends were going and I hated everyone except for one person at the high school so i thought why not. Of course my old strategy didn't work in college, i actually started doing my homework. I failed a couple classes, skipped an entire quarter and made so many mistakes that i basically only got about a year of college credits.
Because of the fact that i was super religious for most of my life and was obsessed with video games this also made little room for interaction with girls. It took me until i was about 16 just to hold hands or hug a girl and to this day I haven't done anything more. But i also do not regret that because it has allowed me to be who i am today, completely devoid of attached strings and at a completely blank slate.
I believe today is the day I start improving myself. Today is the day i spend less time on the computer and more time learning the basics of life and improving myself in the most basic of ways. Today is the day I start developing the habits i need, working out, personal hygiene, organizing, GETTING A JOB even. The funny thing is, I have said these things before but it has never felt as real as it does today. Not only do i feel dedicated to turn my life around but i have started a blog to remind me of the promise i have made to myself. Today is the day i begin my life just as i have created new characters in the pointless MMORPGS i have played before. I am going to gain levels in real life!
The only friends i had were basically forced upon me. I was forced to go to church to every Sunday so i did meet some good people there and it got me into boy scouts and i had a lot of good memories there. Basically my only friends were the ones who went to my church but only a couple of them i actually hung out with outside of church or school.
My grade school years were interesting, i rarely did my homework but i paid attention in class so i was able to get okay grades just by acing the tests and failing miserably in the homework assignments. In high school i began to question my religion, and began to do things that were against it. I became a stoner and it was great, it kept my mind off of the important things and helped me continue the life i was leading without regret. I didn't have to think about benefits of hanging out with girls or going out and doing things when i could just smoke and play video games with my best friend Lorenzo. In the last 2 years of high school i joined running start because that's where most of my friends were going and I hated everyone except for one person at the high school so i thought why not. Of course my old strategy didn't work in college, i actually started doing my homework. I failed a couple classes, skipped an entire quarter and made so many mistakes that i basically only got about a year of college credits.
Because of the fact that i was super religious for most of my life and was obsessed with video games this also made little room for interaction with girls. It took me until i was about 16 just to hold hands or hug a girl and to this day I haven't done anything more. But i also do not regret that because it has allowed me to be who i am today, completely devoid of attached strings and at a completely blank slate.
I believe today is the day I start improving myself. Today is the day i spend less time on the computer and more time learning the basics of life and improving myself in the most basic of ways. Today is the day I start developing the habits i need, working out, personal hygiene, organizing, GETTING A JOB even. The funny thing is, I have said these things before but it has never felt as real as it does today. Not only do i feel dedicated to turn my life around but i have started a blog to remind me of the promise i have made to myself. Today is the day i begin my life just as i have created new characters in the pointless MMORPGS i have played before. I am going to gain levels in real life!
